Hiyaaa!

I'm Sharon Shang-a-Lang and I live in Burnley with my boyfriend Saun. He's Irish. Hehehe. And he's hung like a cart-horse. Hehehe. I'm a topless model. Which doesn't mean I don't have a brain. Hehehe. Nah! It means I get me tits out. Hehehehe.

I'm 53 years old and I really, really like the Bay City Rollers. That's why I changed my name. Hehehe. Nah, it's not my real name. Did you think it was? Hehehe. T***er! Nah, I changed it by Deep Pole, yeah. Which is funny 'cos I got a big pole in my bedroom. Hehehe. Nah, not just Saun. I got one stuck in the ceiling so I can practice me moves. I don't like it too greasy though. Nah, I keep slipping off. Hehehe.

Anyway, I got these special tit implants. 'Cos they was getting all saggy and Saun said they was flapping about when I was doing me moves on the pole. Cheeky bugger! Hehehe. So, for me birthday, last year, Saun (he's a real love) got me booked in so me boobs could get a good seeing to. Hehehe. And this doctor, he looked just like Stuart Wood (ooh, he's my fave Roller, Stuart), so I didn't feel cheap getting me tits out for him, he said that he could include something in my implant which would really, really brighten up my sex life. So now I've got helium balloons in me tits. Yeah! Hehehe. I have to remember to pump 'em up now and then. I've got a big bottle of the stuff in the outhouse. And when me and Saun are at it and he's sucking on my tits, I ask him if he's having a good time and he looks up at me and says, "Yeah Babe" in a lovely baby voice and it makes me feel like a mother. I always wanted children you know. But the home sterilised me when I was 12. Oh well. It's so lovely when he sucks on my tits. Sob. "Yeah Babe".

For his birthday, I'm going to get one of these helium implants put in his old man. Hehehe. Naughty, ain't I? Hehehe.

All for now then. Tarraa!