Hello All. Bob BinLaden here again; up in the fells of Cumbria.

It's been quite a month, I can tell you. Bloody firework's night every bloody night here. Those Special Forces still haven't got the message and I'm running out of hobnobs which makes it so much worse.

We've had marines and tanks coming over the fells this month, playing bloody Bruce Springsteen from speakers attached to F14s. Do you have any idea how that pisses off the sheep? It's difficult enough getting the bloody things to stay in one place up here. The dogs (Adolf and Benito) are completely shagged. Which is more than I am. The wife's stopped all privileges until I get the 4th armoured out of the front garden. What with that and the hobnob situation, things couldn't be much worse.

The chaps down the ToraBora Arms have been discussing how to get rid of these yank idiots. Suicide bomber sheep is the latest idea. I'm not convinced about that and fear it might only lead to an escalation of the problem. But Mrs Trout at the post office has already knitted little belts for the sheep and Big Bill from the newsagents has kept some Bunker Buster fireworks back from Guy Fawkes night so it would be a shame not to use them.

Anyway, better go. I can hear "Born in the USA" from round the back as I write.

Bob.

http://ashtrayoflove.com/

http://www.talibanreunited.com